Asian Junkie Asian pop. Without discretion.
So we all know that allkpop isn’t exactly a bastion of journalistic integrity, especially since most of their content stems from translations of already poorly written articles. What disturbs me even more, though, is that when they do try to generate some “original content”, it usually ends up being a total clusterfuck of “what the fucking shit is this crap” nature?
Their latest venture into “journalism” is this little gem, a piece that outlines the allkpop staff picks for the “K-Pop Avengers“, a clear attempt at trying to piggyback off of the (FUCKING AMAZING HOLY FUCKING GOD AHHHHHHHHH) premiere of Marvel‘s latest film endeavor.
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Now, you probably don’t know this about me, but I am quite the comic book nerd, and the Marvel universe holds a very special place in my heart. allkpop and their staff picks are an affront to the epic franchise that is The Avengers, and I for one will not stand for it (especially while I’m wasted the fuck out of my mind).
All of their casting calls are pretty off-base, but here are the four that I take the most issue with:
1. Kim Hyun Joong – Thor
Thor is the God of Thunder, son of Odin, and a force to be reckoned with. Wielding his signature hammer, Mjolnir, Thor stirs fear into the hearts of villains across the multiverse.
That guy up there next to Thor is a skinny little pretty boy who was chosen solely for his long hair.
WHAT THE FUCK, ALLKPOP?! WHAT IN THE LITERAL FUCK?
2. HyunA – Black Widow
It’s no secret that I hate HyunA, but the fact that she is the allkpop pick for the K-pop facsimile of Black Widow makes me hate her with a white burning passion that would make the sun seem like a freezer.
Natasha Romanov is Russian super-soldier spy that has a sensual class about her that pales only to her peak human physical abilities. HyunA is a Korean pop harlot whose sexuality is about as discreet as blunt force trauma from the impact of a bus.
Get the fuck out.
3. Park Jin Young – Tony Stark
Tony Stark is a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Park Jin Young is a dancing gorilla.
Really?
REALLY?!
4. Kim Jong Kook – Bruce Banner
Sure, the Hulk is a huge green monster with heaving muscles and what not. But Bruce Banner? No. Bruce Banner is a skinny little scientist. Kim Jong Kook is not, by any means, a skinny little scientist.
It’s like nerd knowledge for dummies, and since these people run a K-pop site, you know they have to be nerds to a certain extent.
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I guess the message is this: The Avengers movie was fucking perfect, and I will never forgive allkpop for sullying this flawless production with the grimy and cheap fingers of K-pop.
Keep publishing your shit about selcas and whatever the fuck, I don’t care, but stay the fuck away from my comic books.
FUCK OFF.
![Critical Eye: [BREAKING] G-Dragon not immortal, set to retire one day, also will die](http://www.asianjunkie.com/wp-content/themes/sahifa/timthumb.php?src=/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/GDragonRetire.jpg&h=125&w=272&a=c)
All of it is terrible except SLDFOASLFOASFOMA MINHO AS HAWKEYE LOLOLLLLL Let’s laugh at how useless they both are. I can’t~.
Clint is actually my favorite of all the Avengers (barring Wolverine). In retrospect, I should have added a complaint about that, but I didn’t feel strongly enough against Minho at the time. Eh.
He’s my favorite too (not barring Wolverine). And Minho is amazing. I love useless people. Come at me.
HAHAHAHA I think Jong Kook should have been put as Captain America.
HyunA needs to be tied up and tossed in a lake in Antarctica.
Hyuna is cast perfectly, asshole!!!
Isn’t the guy who runs AKP a major Hyuna fan? Lmao
WHYYYYYYYYYYYY. This is worst than fans putting up kpop content in 9gag
I can feel your agony. You must be a great fan :-)
Awful poster, by the way. Good job!
Oh lord, Hyuna. No thank yous.
Is the movie any good? I want to see it, but don’t want to waste $10 if I end up not liking it.
This post already says it’s good. And it’s Joss Whedon. Pay the $10.
The movie is indeed amazing. It is well worth the $10!
Hm, interesting. Yeah, I haven’t watched The Avengers myself, but I’ve watched the other movies like Thor and Iron Man. And really… Kim Hyunjoong as Thor?!! That’s already a NO NO NO!!!
Just curious. Who would you cast as your Avengers among the Kpop idols?
Fuck Kpop.
Cuban-American actor William Levy would make a perfect Thor.
hhhnnngggg
Kinda getting sick of him flashing his abs on DWTS. He is cute though. Not as cute as the guy playing Thor already. He is just….oh my gaga…perfect…just. perfect.
Don’t watch, but I agree about Chris Hemsworth. He’s delectable.
William Levy really? He is such a pretty boy people and just looks god awful to me. I like the Chris Hemsworth dude has great sex appeal but above else he doesn’t look overly pretty.
William Levy like the hot gut who knows he’s hot and will cheat on you. Chris Hemsworth is a hot guy but he is more mysterious and refine.
William cliche and Chris mature
DIED x___x
I expected Hyuna getting cast as Black Widow. And I approve, she’s a sexy little minx. Yuri would have worked too.
I agree. Yuri would be a good candidate. Perhaps I will do my own version…
What a super creative casting choice. *claps slowly*
Wait so…..you agree with the rest of the choices? >.>
He says no.
Absolutely not… Just less angry about them. Lol.
okay good XD
you nerdy mother :o
I saw this and got a shock. So allkpop was behind this? They never did anything pleasant to everyone. /sigh
Isn’t Allkpop located at New Jersey? So,most probably they were asians lurking in a round table formulating and discussing things to sensationalize kpop into supremacy.But why? is it because they need to feel that asians are not inferior to americans or something? they always compare things to america,like how hyorin is beyonce and now this?it wasn’t even rational anymore..
i wonder how much racism theyr’e suffer in america to feel a desperate urge to do this..
It’s not much on racism, we’re more like the bottom of the minority totem pole of being exposed to mainstream society in the US. I guess it’s AKP messed up way for trying to “expose and expand” Asian society to make us more relevant.
but this and the other stuff they do makes asians become more of a joke. it is inferior in comparison and even us knows it.
i read once that AKP is funded by someone or by an organization in korea,is this a right info?
No.
Soompi is owned by a Korean company though.
@ BaddestBitchHyorin
I may be wrong to say this but in my current environment, half of them are westerners from US, UK, and I interact with them on a daily basis. I also go to US, UK on average twice a year (which isn’t much I know).
Someone asked me once where I wanted to live outside of Asia but really I feel most comfortable where I am. In a place where most people are the same as me, I feel a sense of belonging and also it’s nice to be treated as first class citizens in your own country instead of something else.
Maybe I should be more adventurous but staying in Asia and building up our strengths in Asia, whether in companies/ economy or industry, I think it’s important to feel that sense of value and pride in your ethnicity.
Sorry if this posts offends anyone, not intended to do so :-)
It’s about money, not a gigantic conspiracy theory.
I’ve already explained why Korean artists are compared to American artists. It’s their way of marketing, which I think is a flawed way to approach things.
i think narsha or gain from BEG would’ve been good candidates for black widow. maybe yuri or even hyori. i don’t think hyuna was that bad of a choice though lol (but the other choices definitely were, AKP is so weird…)
i was too busy to watch this movie last weekend but now i’ve also heard from other people that its good
by the way i love the arrested development clip, great show
OMG, JYP as Tony Stark. I’m dead.
Hyori would make a better Black Widow…
Funny how Taec is Captain America & I keep hearing fans say that he’s trying to bury the American part of him.
Does All-K Pop actually make a profit?
Or is it one of those companies that some trust fund kids started just to make it look like they are actually doing something.
It doesn’t look like a site that would monetize well.
Certainly not trust fund kids.
Yes, they do make a profit.
i fucking love this. glad to see i’m not the only one who greatly dislikes hyuna.