The SNSD “Power Of 9″ has been temporarily decommissioned to make way for the only three bitches that actually matter in the group: Taetiseo — that is, Taeyeon, Tiffany, and Seohyun.
Promotions for the group are in full swing, and the girls recently sat down for an interview and revealed what it’s like to be in a sub-unit.
Tiffany emphatically expressed her excitement for the group, saying, “I can’t believe I finally get the chance to actually sing! I mean, like, I sing so much better than Jessica, so why did she get so many parts in ‘The Boys’? I FINALLY GET A CHANCE TO SHINE, BITCHES! NO MORE BABY TALK IN ENGLISH!”
Taeyeon took a more reserved approach to her response, expressing that, “I really hate the concept and what being in SNSD has done to my voice, but hey, whatever! Fans still think I’m the best fucking singer in Korea, and I’m still raking in the big bucks! Xanax makes it all better anyway. YOLO!”
At the time, Seohyun was not available for comment. She was later found dead in the studio bathroom with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.
A note found at the scene reads: “Fuck this shit. Can’t stand being surrounded by basic bitches all my life. I’m done.”
SM Entertainment is now looking into ways to make Seobot a reality.
May she rest in peace.