[Review] [Music Video] Hamasaki Ayumi – You & Me

I had previously mentioned that Hamasaki Ayumi‘s “You & Me” song was pretty much a cluster fuck of “Fairyland“, the theme song to Sonic CD, and a pre-chorus build to Rihanna‘s “We Found Love” all gang fucking an anime theme song. And the music video is an exact visual representation of this. Only we get a bit of “Blue Bird” too.

Back when Ayu frolicked on a yacht in a bikini six years ago, the swimsuit choice was used because it represented the freedom Ayu felt at the time … or some similar shit that gave fans plausible deniability and the freedom to be delusional. Now though, Ayu frolicking on a beach and playing table tennis in a bikini in the “You & Me” video is because Ayu is desperate for sales. She thinks flashing her bony ass and turning tricks with ping pong balls will help her.

I could have gone with this video if Ayu had ripped off Crystal Kay‘s “Forever” and popped her pussy on the beach with a few back-up dancers, started slow grinding at the fun fair, and got low in the cereal aisle of a FamilyMart. It would have been desperate, but at least it would have been entertaining. Watching Ayu run around on a beach and seeing her gypsy-looking ass get pushed around in a trolley by a guy who has nicer hair and a better tan than she has was not entertaining to me in the slightest.

“You & Me” is such a terrible song that it would have taken an amazing video to salvage it. Needless to say, Ayu didn’t salvage a thing. Rather, she reinforced my continual thoughts that she really is losing the plot.

—–

Ayu looks happy in this video, but we know differently. Ayu is broken inside. The real life Ayu is the chick who was singing about her ‘Fliday night’ in the hotel room with the lights off and a wet weave. Ayu is not only in the midst of an identity crisis, she’s smack bang in the middle of a life crisis.

Her last studio album was outsold by her arch-nemesis Koda Kumi, and that was followed by being outsold by Amuro Namie; a woman who Ayu had written off back when Namie was getting dicked by her black sidepiece Tyrone and telling him to put his hoes up front in “Put ‘Em Up”.

What Ayu should be doing is taking a break from music, tours, appearances, everything! But instead she’s just releasing music constantly in a bid to find whatever it is she’s looking for, completely oblivious to the fact that she’s damaging her legacy in the process. A legacy she worked fucking hard to keep for so long.

—–

Upfront, I’ve never been a fan of Ayu. I just don’t like listening to banshees singing with a pinched nose over beats and watching blow-up dolls stare me in the face in music videos. However, I always respected that she had a clear vision of how she wanted to be perceived. In other words, she was sure of her brand.

Now though, Ayu has no clue, and we’ve gone past the cracks showing. We’re now looking at homegirl’s shit laying in pieces on the floor. The cracks were that “Five” album. Shit is clearly broken now.