Hamasaki Ayumi to release a new album full of fuckery in February, set to ruin her own legacy

HamasakiAyumiLoveAgain

To celebrate 15 years of wailing like a banshee, passing off hood-length talons as couture nails, and wiping the floor with 90% of the female acts in Japan with chart records and album sales, Avex and Ayu decided to release a mini-album for the fourth consecutive month in February.

Fresh off her November mini-album “Love“, her December release “Again“, and news of her January release, “A Classical“, Ayu chose to surprise her fans by recently announcing that her fourth mini-album release would in fact be a full-length studio album. With there being no time for Ayu to do a great deal, this release follows Avex and Ayu’s recent/current trend of refusing to release a physical single to precede an album. This of course means that the first week chart position of this album will follow another recent trend of Avex and Ayu’s: not debuting at #1 on the Oricon weekly.

Fans thought Ayu was bestowing them with a belated Christmas gift with the news of a new LP … until the tracklist dropped. Check out the dirt:

  1. Wake Me Up [As Featured On 'Again']
  2. Song 4 U [As Featured On 'LOVE']
  3. Missing [As Featured On 'LOVE']
  4. Sakura
  5. Melody [As Featured On 'LOVE']
  6. Task’N’Bass [An Interlude]
  7. Bye-Bye Darling
  8. Snowy Kiss [As Featured On 'Again']
  9. Sweet Scar [As Featured On 'LOVE']
  10. Petal
  11. Glasses
  12. Untitled For Her … Story 2
  13. Gloria
  14. Ivy [As Featured On 'Again']
  15. You & Me [As Featured On 'A Summer Best']

Half of the release is stuffed with songs from Ayu’s first two mini-albums, as well as the inclusion of “You & Me“, which featured on “A Summer Best” and also featured in remix and instrumental form on her “Love” EP. She may as well have put all the songs from her “Five” mini-album on this shit too and just called it a day.

SHE LAZY AS FUCK!

She’s charging fans ¥1,500 yen for a mini-album in November, ¥1,500 for another mini-album in December, and then ¥3,000 for an album which will feature all of the songs from the previously released mini-albums (and a few new songs) in February. This is a scam. Just when you think Ayu and Avex can’t extort fans and take the piss any further, they golden shower the whole of Japan and then throw a match on bitches. Next Ayu will be e-mailing her fan club and asking them to wire money via Western Union to her Nigerian bank account.

Given Avex’s trax record (geddit? LOL), a release featuring Ayu’s mini-album material was always going to happen … I just didn’t expect it to happen THIS soon. And of course there will be the “A Love Again And Again BEST” release, featuring all of the material from all six of Ayu’s anniversary releases – giving fans a good reason to not bother buying any of these albums at all.

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This whole entire anniversary release fiasco has been a farce since day one. It’s clear that there was no truly realized plan concerning the roll out of these mini-albums beyond: “Let’s just drop one a month.” And when the hell is Ayu going to stop using the world ‘love’ in her album titles and featuring her fuck buddies in music videos?! All it does is spell doom. She got married to Manuel Schwarz, featured him in a couple of her videos for “Love Songs“, and by the time “Party Queen” came out (little over a year later), she was divorced. Now she features current beau Uchiyama Maroka on one of her mini-album covers, and features him in three of her music videos. Girl, bye. He will be gone by the time “Love Again” drops, which is probably why she looks like she might cry any second on the CD + DVD edition of the album cover (see image at the top of this post).

Ever since Ayu stopped her diet of Manuel’s Austrian sausage, her career has been going downhill faster than Chunktina Aguilera on a unicycle down Powell Street. Many fans are speculating that Avex are milking Ayu, and this is most certainly true, but do not think for a second that Ayu is the helpless victim in all this. Ayu is the face of Avex trax. Her contractual obligation is, of course, to release music, but if Ayu were to get up in Max Matsuura‘s face and tell him “I no release a damn thing for two years“, you can bet that there wouldn’t be a damn thing anybody at Avex could do about it. Nobody is holding a gun to Ayu’s wig and forcing her to do anything. By spamming the charts with releases, she’s just doing her own legacy damage. I don’t know what further proof this woman wants that she is not running Japan with her album sales anymore. Shit is pathetic.

Koda Kumi‘s going easy on releases, Amuro Namie‘s too busy touring and gettin’ crunk in di crub, Utada Hikaru is in retirement, and Ayu’s chart competition is now fucking Beni, who is outselling Ayu’s shit with a cover album.

The fuck?!

GurlBye

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