Asian Junkie Asian pop. Without discretion.
You know, I had planned on ringing in the New Year with a hot mess, but I certainly did not mean this hot mess. SNSD‘s latest track, “I Got A Boy“, is, to put it lightly, meh (but, of course, you already knew that).
While the song itself is a clusterfuck of jarring musical atrocities, watching the video gave me an epiphany: SM Entertainment is turning SNSD into an escort service.
Don’t believe me? Fine. Let’s go through this scene by scene then.
—–
SCENE ONE: THE BROTHEL
Where else would we start the opening scene of this music video other than at the SM Entertainment Escort Service Headquarters? If I were to hypothetically be running a prostitution service, this is an establishment that I’d be proud of. It’s got all the essentials: faux classy-shit furniture, chandelier, animal print, ho-bag beautifying products … everything the girls need to feel their best! Happy girls make happy clients!
The most ingenious part of all of this, however, has got to be the pink doorbell. It’s innocent, a little inconspicuous, but, once you know what the pink doorbell is really all about, word gets around fast, and guys all over town will be looking for it.
SCENE TWO: THE STREETS
But, hey, the SM Entertainment Escort Service is just starting out here, and they need more than a pink doorbell to start getting the word out. Well, why not try the old fashioned way? Put them girls on on them corners to pick up some Johns!
Need I say more?
SCENE THREE: THE GENTLEMEN’S CLUB
Money. Money is good. You can never have too much of it, right? As a part of their masterful scheme to take over the “adult entertainment” industry, I guess SM also opted to open a gentlemen’s club of sorts. Okay-ish singing performances, red-lighted catwalk stage, fake wigs, girls wearing nothing but coats … yeah, I’m pretty sure this is a gentlemen’s club.
Work it, Tiffany!
SCENE FOUR: THE DATE(S)
Scene four isn’t so much one scene as it is a collection of scenes. Throughout the MV, we see that the guy who initially approaches the brothel goes on a series of “dates” with each of the girls. For those of you that don’t know, it’s not uncommon for a patron of these fine establishments to go on “test dates” with a couple of girls.
This is to find and establish a meaningful connection with a single lady whom the customer will feel completely comfortable living out his deepest and darkest sexual fantasies with.
—–
So … yeah. The SM Entertainment Escort Service. It was bound to happen sooner or later.
I mean, what other explanation could there possibly be? I suggest you all get in line now.
Perhaps the sad part is that this is just as plausible as following along with the silly lyrics.
:o
If we also add SHINee’s pR0n pics from Sherlock, this theory makes it even more plausible than SNSD’s vid.
Oh dear. :o
So where can I book Taemin’s ass and penis? WHERE?!?!??!!
I don’t care if I have to get banged by him on those flower couches and if he farts in my face while twerking his bony ass in front of my face.
Pure genius.
Hot damn, was I missing these! These Freudian analyses really uncover the unappreciated artistry of SM.
I got internet just in time!!!!
If you look closely our lovely Horsica is the main slut, they even have a fake, dead horse on the promotional picture.
Also, as far as I know SM has been a brothel for a long while
Maybe it started in Mirotic….that ghost lady was actually TVXQ’s madame!
fuck if this theory applies to all of sm the possibilities are endless….hopefully you can hire two at the same time cause i am ready for my jongkey party
http://i1151.photobucket.com/albums/o639/June_R1/Jonghyun/Jonghyun%20Gif/tumblr_m41uzxb9JZ1r42vy8.gif
plus this
http://i409.photobucket.com/albums/pp172/shineeismydrug/Key/f0067518493290ebd4eefou2.gif
and you know key will be cool with it cause he’s bi and jjong cause he is a horny bastard who would fuck anything
I Got A Boy really has been a gold mine for this site.
Every release by a major group is a goldmine for sites, good or bad.
:o
Everybody should of realized SMEnt. is one big whore house. Their Genie mv was self explanatory itself.
Who could forget these other advertisements to their business? http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-60WftZJ2nVA/T2iIVrUC1uI/AAAAAAAAC3M/eLGvT5xjWi8/s1600/SHINEE+-+SHERLOCK+WALLPAPER.jpg
http://www.allkpop.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/20110731_superjunior_0.jpg
They’re even thoughtful for the ones who are down with the “man on beast” action http://koreansociety.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/fx-electric-shock.jpg
A whorehouse concept would be great. Let’s get someone on it.
Rania should do it.
Super Junior even did it with their SFS
in which IGAB is again, only relevant for the lulz.
Seriously – what WAS this music video supposed to be about?
Because I can’t think of anything else that would make more sense than this whorehouse explanation.
It shouldn’t even be considered “Freudian” – it’s just a factual description of the events in the video, as far as I can tell.
I honestly don’t know. That’s why I said it’s just as plausible.
:o
but… but… they’re too innocent to became whores, right?
Love this!
Never picked up on the escort concept before but it’s highly plausible. Just makes me love IGAB even more. Awesome.
AIYA!, you make my day :)
I think your theory has some merit. The equivalent of the “red light” clandestinely signifying a brothel in Korea is pink towels hanging outside (don’t ask me how I know this). And look what’s on one of the chairs in the opening shot… well okay it’s more reddish pink and might not actually be a towel but an article of clothing so I’m clutching at straws a bit maybe but I CAN DREAM…
The likelihood that there actually is a Girls Generation-themed brothel somewhere in Seoul has got to be around 99%, right?
The long version of saying SNSD lare whores. I am cool with that analysis.
But SM should pimp out their male idols too, fan girls and gay fan boys need love also for a cheap price. My pick is choi siwon
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5dd21VYda1r6g54lo2_500.gif
i do not understand why this guy wears pants or any article of clothing, restricts his sexiness
Wow this is mind blowing. The mv totally makes sense now.
Wow everything makes sense! When I looked at the music video I didn’t even understand anything at all because of all those crazy iridescent, flashy lights distracting my attention. Seriously, I liked their old mvs, like Into the New World and Baby Baby…They were far more innocent and appropriate. I wonder why K-pop is becoming so promiscuous nowadays.
I read online that Tiffany was going to try and debut in America when her contract was up….It be interesting to see if this group actually stays together when their finally off their leash
Why the fuck would she try that?
There’s no way that was serious.
page 6 when SPIN happened to speak with her…. IDK Maybe Tiffany just wants to go home to her family. http://www.spin.com/articles/seoul-trained-inside-koreas-pop-factory?page=5
Interesting.
“SNSD‘s latest track, “I Got A Boy“, is, to put it lightly, meh (but, of course, you already knew that). ”
Yes. We knew that.
This piece of shit is about as low as you can go in Pandering 101, SM Style.
NO ONE over the age of 10 can like this. Oh, no wait – I guess horny 20 something guys can like it. My mistake. Really now – this is what SM plans to take over the world with?? This is their big Weapon to subjugate the West?? Only if the US is suddenly overrun with crazed priapic dudes with fantasies of submissive, endlessly accommodating Asian hotties. This is of course why SM is serving up these poor women in these endless cheesecake vignettes – TO SELL IDIOTS PRODUCT.