A chronological summary of the Park Han Byul/Se7en breakup rumor

Se7en_ParkHanByul

For those of you who can’t be bothered to decipher the media clusterfuck surrounding Park Han Byul and Se7en‘s relationship, we’ve got Asian Junkie Cliff Notes ready for you.

In chronological order:

-Park Han Byul is single! RESTRAIN IATFB.

ParkHanByul_Troll

-Never mind. She’s boning that Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Ryu Hyun Jin.

-Oh, so she’s not catching his balls with her mouth? Is she still dating Se7en?

Se7en_ParkHanByul

(Park Han Byul’s inner thoughts: “How can you change my tire when you can’t even find my clit, boo?”)

-Park Han Byul’s agency, JF Entertainment, had this to say on the matter:

“One media outlet reported that they’d already broken up before he enlisted, but that’s not the truth. They’re still contacting each other and doing well. Since they’ve dated for over 10 years, these kind of stories are coming out.”

SesameStreet_1

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In short, maybe she dumped his ass after Se7en’s recent scandal (“But honey, I really did go to that massage parlour to get a massage! It was JUST a massage, I swear!“). Or, maybe she and Se7en have some rules in their relationship that keep it alive (“It’s ok to get a handjob from a whore, but it better be just that and with a clean bitch.”).

Who the fuck cares, though? IATFB’s internal screaming over Park Han Byul’s on-again-off-again status is infinitely more entertaining to me than this entire fiasco.

JenniferLawrence

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