Asian Junkie Asian pop. Without discretion.
We all know this is pointless, so in order to make ‘Make It Pop‘ bearable for the masses, I’ve created a drinking game for everyone. If you don’t drink, well … then I’m gutted for you, mate. Under 18s or whatever the age limit thing is in your land, just buy a greasy burger and a really sugary acid-y orange juice — both things destroy your stomach. Watching all the episodes in one go might help too, because I don’t want you to be tipsy every night for four weeks.
Enjoy!
‘MAKE IT POP’ DRINKING GAME RULES
1. Always have a beer/cider on you. There’ll only be like 30 seconds when you’re not taking a shot for something, so you’ll need to drink something.
2. When they sing, take a shot of your choice.
3. Wine makes you feel like a grownup, so when there’s a moment in the show where you feel like “shit, I am too old for this”, take a sip of wine. One moment you feel like a pre-teen, and one sip later you’re a lonely 25-year-old with no life. It’s life changing.
4. Drink when Sun Hi says something so blatantly stupid as fuck.
5. Drink when you see a random white guy. Or when said dude acts creepy.
6. Drink when there’s sexual tension between main character and someone else.
7. Drink when you feel like this show makes you feel really sad. More sad than in rule three.
8. Just drink the whole bottle as a rule.
9. Play this drinking game while reading the recap as well. Also for all aspects of life.
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So what happened this week?
Well, Sun Hi continuously has a hissy fit around Corki, and she just can’t catch a break! No wonder Corki murders people after having to deal with her. Also, in the second episode Sun Hi thought it was an excellent idea to practice singing in a fucking science lab, so well fucking done on that front, idiot. Then, in order to top herself, she somehow also convinces everyone that White Guy 1 (that guy from the last review, whoever) owns a club. A HIGH SCHOOLER OWNING A CLUB. WHAT WERE YOU DOING AT 12? They should rename this show ‘Sun Hi & The Bad Life Choices‘.
In the fifth episode, Sun Hi loses her voice because she is just a lame human being who fucks up constantly, but it somehow magically appears again when they have the their first performance in front of the whole school, which just reinforces to our youth that you can make terrible decisions and everything will work out in the end. When you read the Darwin Awards in 5-10 years, they’ll all be there because of ‘Make It Pop’, remember that.
“Ahhhhhh, I am really fucking dumb, help.” – Sun Hi
Next, we meet this other white guy called something like Jared (White Guy 2), who is like a human straight out of ‘Glee‘ and I don’t like him. Whatever-his-face wants a part of the school’s musical, but how far will he go? Well, he’s willing to put the groundman’s dick in his mouth and dude nearly breaks his neck whilst finding out he can’t be Dorothy in the school play. Like I said before, this is about Megan Lee‘s life and she’s taking shots at the K-pop industry’s behind-the-scenes sex trade. Dirty foreign traitor. The netizens were right.
Oh yeah, White Guy 2 is in love with his chin, because who isn’t infatuated with their own chin? AMIRITE GUYS?!?!?!
“Chin.” – Jared
So anyway, White Guy 1 somehow managed to make a shitty skate rink into a club within a NIGHT way back in the third episode, which means he probably dropped like six figures of his parents’ money just for a chance to score with Asian chicks in his makeshift club, which doesn’t sound skeevy at all. The dudes on this show are like those 40-year-old creepers who fly halfway across the world in search of Asian brides in terms of creepiness. Jesus, this show is dark.
White Guy 1 also has a mysterious boss, who is obviously Nick Cannon … but he also could be Corki’s murdering companion. Or Lee Soo Man.
“You can’t silence genius.” – Caleb
Within Jodi’s storyline, we come across Valerie and Heather, two girls in the cheerleading squad and the year above. Classic ‘Glee’ shit going on here too, as they don’t like Jodi due to her fresh moves, like no one has seen these fucking moves before. They’re so iconic that I feel like Jodi is gonna start a movement of freedom thinkers. I was like this as teen too, so the connection between Jodi and I is only growing stronger by the episode.
“SWEG SWEG SWEG BLAH BLAH H8ER SKILLZ” – Jodi
Corki continues to murder people. Like seriously.
No, we don’t actually see the murders, but she even wears a mask during their “debut”, and becomes like half Jason Voorhees and half Michael Myers, which just confirms my suspicion. Just ask yourself how there are these Asian girls in this school but no Asian guys. Simple, they’re getting killed one by one by Corki, and she’s using White Guy 1 and White Guy 2 because they’re building clubs out of skating rinks for them and shit. Pretty sure they’re accessories to murder at this point.
“Sorry, guys. I can’t help you with your maths nor can I be in this stupid band because I haven’t murdered anyone in the past 48 hours.” – Corki
My rating: Drunk out of 10. This is for the children of the future.
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Note: If you have requests on what you want me to review, please tweet me at @xbetsoo.
