Asian Junkie Asian pop. Without discretion.
Ohmigosh, hi everybody! It’s Tiffany here! I’m so happy to be here! KPOPAYLPSE always gets questions about Korean culture, but he doesn’t live in Korea so he asked me to write something about my favourite country in the world for you who are thinking of coming to Korea! This is absolutely unexpected and exciting and humbling all at the same time! Let’s learn all about Korea!
GEOGRAPHY
Korea is a nice country full of wonderful people. It’s located on the eastern coast of the Asian continent.
It’s the peninsula thing a little to the left of the green island. Aren’t green islands pretty?
Korea is divided into North and South. North Korea is a dictatorship where people have no freedom and little food, so they can’t eat what they want at any time. South Korea is a democracy where people do have lots of freedom and lots of food, so people can eat what they want at any time, unless it’s against SM Entertainment’s dieting rules.
HISTORY
I don’t know much about Korean history because I’m busy being a K-pop star, so I asked the girls from AOA but they didn’t know either. They said that our president is busy rewriting the history books so they didn’t want to comment on history and get it wrong and upset their sensitive fanbase, but once the books are all rewritten they’re going to learn what’s in them and let you know all about it.
WORKING LIFE
Koreans work longer hours than anybody else in the developed world! However, don’t be fooled — Korean workers actually have the lowest productivity of all OECD countries, and it’s probably because they’re so busy building up their own businesses on the side.
Smart office attire could mean a worker cares about her presentation in the workplace, but it could also mean she’s practicing clothes-making so she can start her own business and leave you in the lurch. Don’t be too trusting of co-workers!
TRAVEL
It’s fun to travel in Korea to see important sights that will fill you with Korean pride, however the roads are very dangerous, public transport is safer! When using public transport, it’s best to travel light!
Stylish!
A small travel bag like the one shown above will ensure that you cause a minimum of inconvenience to other travellers!
LEISURE
When it’s party time, Koreans definitely like to have a drink, and the favourite alcoholic drink of choice in Korea is soju, depicted below.
The soju is somewhere on this shelf, I think. Sorry, I was a bit tipsy when I took this photo.
Soju is about 20% alcohol by volume, so be careful and drink responsibly!
The other common Korean leisure pastime is prostitution, which is unfortunately very popular and makes up 4% of Korea’s GDP.
Prostitutes can be identified by a general lack of clothing, low moral values, and a tendency to abscond with other people’s money to feather their own nest. Avoid!
To make your time in Korea enjoyable, don’t associate with prostitutes or you may end up with diseases, broken friendships, or strained business partnerships.
PATRIOTISM
It’s important for Koreans to love their country, but people who post about it on the Internet are probably just showing off.
Say it, don’t spray it.
Love your country on the inside instead, where it matters the most.
Go go Korea! Can you feel the Korean patriotism emanating from this picture?
ENTERTAINMENT
Don’t forget to listen to Girls’ Generation (少女時代) while you’re in Korea! Here are our albums that you should listen to!
Girls’ Generation – ‘Girls’ Generation’
Girls’ Generation – ‘Girls & Peace’
Girls’ Generation – ‘Love & Peace’
—–
Thank you for reading this guide! Please watch over us fondly!
