Satire Corner

Seungri left hospital early to participate in ISIS activities, now back in hospital


When Seungri got off the ambulance after his car crash, the explanation given was that he simply thought he was alright. But that didn’t sit well with a bunch of people, who obviously thought there was a conspiracy afoot, one where YG Entertainment bought off police and government for … reasons (I still don’t know). Well, now it’s been reported ... Read More »

Minah & Son Heung Min have only been on 2 dates, netz mad netz mad netz mad


DreamT Entertainment created a bigger mess than necessary regarding the reported relationship of Girl’s Day‘s Minah and soccer player Son Heung Min, but that was allegedly because the pair have only been out with each other a couple times. And we all know never in history have the Korean media and companies given what Korean netizens say way too much ... Read More »

Crayon Pop’s Gummi captured abusing a fan of hers! SHOCK!


Crayon Pop‘s Gummi has been captured on a fancam abusing a female fan of hers at a fanmeeting! Behind their cute new concept for “UH-EE” still lies the DELINQUENT ILBEYON THUGS repping dat Chrome Entertainment set. GIF Link Absolutely horrific! —– Let’s take a step-by-step look into the mind of a thug. She picks out her target. The smile is ... Read More »

Let’s Pretend: Crayon Pop’s songs have deep, insightful lyrics peons cannot understand


Recently I’ve went over the amusing nature of the reaction to the Crayon Pop/Lady Gaga collab from the international K-pop fandom. While Koreans seem to understand what Crayon Pop and K-pop exist for on some level, international K-pop fans appear to be taking K-pop extremely seriously, as if they have a complex about it. As such, they’ve cultivated a particularly ... Read More »

The explicit version of Perfume’s “Fake It”, as translated by Random J.


As we currently know it, Perfume‘s “Fake It” is a song about non-commitment. But contrary to popular belief, this wasn’t always the case. “Fake It” was originally conceived out of Perfume’s songwriter and producer Nakata Yasutaka overhearing a conversation the girls were having about Kashiyuka’s ex-boyfriend and his weak sex game. Unbeknownst to Perfume, Nakata created “Fake It” as their inadequate man ... Read More »

[BREAKING] Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas” found tortured and murdered (AP)


SEOUL, South Korea (AP) – A song was murdered on Monday by two women who have labeled themselves as musical artists. The victim was identified as Mariah Carey’s iconic “All I Want For Christmas Is You”, which was found tortured and murdered in the middle of an upscale recording studio. Area police described the the scene as ‘horrific’ and noted ... Read More »

True meaning of Perfume’s “1mm” revealed by Nakata Yasutaka, Random J translates explicit version PV

Asian Junkie | Nocchi can't see the dick

Perfume‘s ’80s electropop crassic “1mm” won the hearts of fans and haters ever since the girls premiered it on their radio show, ‘Perfume LOCKS‘. Many wondered what exactly the song was about, and where the concept of it stemmed from. We can now confirm here at Asian Junkie that the subject matter of the song originates from a conversation that ... Read More »

How K-pop makes your Western daughters crave Asian penis: an expose on the yellow plague

The start of the corruption of Western female youth boldly displayed.

Recently I stumbled upon an article in *Questionably Respectable News Outlet* about the growing trend of young women from the West fawning over Korean men. A disturbing thing, indeed, but where do they get this idea? Well, the Western media has been gaining noticeable interest in Korean pop culture, and the current amount of interest in their music coming from ... Read More »

Amuro Namie reunites with Super Monkey’s, owns bitches with “Try Me ~Bitch You Could Never~”


Amuro Namie took to the stage with the Super Monkey’s for the first time in 18 years to mark the 18th anniversary since the group was last active. To commemorate the momentous occasion, Namie once again donned her platform boots and performed a revamped version of the group’s biggest hit, “Try Me“, which featured revised lyrics, calling out all of ... Read More »